But here in Belgium, we're all screwed up. We live in an apartment, and it's winter, so if we want to go outside it takes at least 15 minutes just to put warm clothes on. That's usually prolonged because Axel hates putting on his jacket, so he'll run into a corner of the apartment, drop to the ground, cry, and play what I call "dead fish" where he won't budge. He also absolutely refuses to wear his mittens. He will then insist on riding his bike, which isn't always possible. So if I'm lucky, he will comply and sit in the stroller. If I'm not so lucky, he will insist on walking or biking, and will stop and be sad at every piece of trash (yes, litter makes him really sad) and try to jump off of every doorstep along our way. This usually ends up in traveling a distance of about one block per 45 minutes.
This is pretty exhausting if I want to go grocery shopping, since it's a 20 minute walk. I did buy a bus pass, which allows us to get there quicker, but for some reason, meltdowns usually occurs within five minutes of entering the grocery store. The only way I get through it is with promises. Like, "as soon as we pay, I'll let you out and walk", which does not benefit me too much since it will take us forever to get home. I always bring snacks, but those usually only buy me 20 minutes or so. But, as I have heard, the twos can be terrible!
Last weekend, we wanted to go to a shop to buy bathing suits so we could go to an indoor pool. We took the bus to the store and were there about 10 minutes when Axel had had enough. I was still trying on bathing suits, so Johan tried to keep him company. As I went to pay for the suits I heard the tantrum escalate, then silence. I went outside to see what happened, and saw this:
Axel was really cranky, so we looked for a cafe to buy a sandwich or any food, and nothing was open! Funny that in the middle of winter, the only store that was open was the swim suit store. We also realized we had no cash, and no one would take our credit card, so we wandered through Voselaar (a neighbor to Turnhout), hungry, no money, with a crying toddler. So we decided to try and catch the bus home, then realized it only came once every hour. I wanted to cry. By the time we finally got home and put Axel down for a nap, we were completely wiped out. After that day, we learned that during the terrible twos, if you want to minimize your stress, you need to be over prepared when you leave your house. Have money, have food, know the bus route, maybe bring the baby bicycle, and have a plan ahead of time for when you will let the terrible two toddler out of the stroller, so that you can better plan your schedule. These things help my days alone with Axel go a lot smoother.
Some days are really nice. When they are, I never know what I did right, I'm just thankful when they happen. The other day we walked to the canal north of town and back. It took us 1-1/2 hours, and we had no problems!
Another problem we've had since coming here is eating. When we arrived, Axel hadn't eaten in days. He had been sick, but he has never not eaten for that long. So I really wanted him to eat something. So I sat him at the table and let him watch a movie during lunch. He ate his entire meal. I was so happy. But then, after that, I realized he wouldn't eat without a movie being on. Crap. So now we are trying to wean him off. Some days go great, others aren't so great.
I think that a lot of parents are afraid of screwing their kids up. And the truth is that none of us are perfect, and we are all going to screw our kids up in some shape or form. You just have to use your instincts, try your best. Oh, and pray. I can't count how many times I've prayed for God to help me during a tantrum, and it always gets better. Either my attitude or Axels attitude changes.
Another thing is the mommy clingyness. This started a couple of months ago when he learned to say mamma and understood that I would respond to it. Now, if I leave the room, he will yell it at the top of his lungs. At first, we laughed about it because it's pretty funny. But it's not so funny when it sounds like a command.
Some nights are rough. Axel had eaten something bad and was throwing up this week, so those nights I had to replace his sheets and clothes several times throughout the night. Since he kept throwing up, I slept next to him to make sure it didn't get too messy. But instead of me being able to sleep in in the morning, he decided he wouldn't eat breakfast unless I sat at the table. If I tried to keep sleeping, he would come into our room and lay on me. Or even worse, turn on the light and make me read Goodnight Moon to him.
So, yes, the terrible twos are not much fun. But on the flipside, the personality that we see coming out is so much fun. We go to a mom/baby meetup every morning, and have been having a lot of fun there, and have made somenice new friends. It is so fun to see him point to Johan and say "mamma!" Because he thinks we are all mamma. Or walk around the apartment with his hands over his eyes playing a blind person, or hiding in the corner hoping you'll play hide and seek with him, or how much he loves to hold hands and pray before dinner, and applauds when we're done. That's the stuff we live for.
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