Love My Boys! 8 Months

Both of our boys as babies have been very good sleepers. We attribute this entirely to my friend, Carolyn Wooten, who suggested a sleep book when I told her Axel (as a baby) would not sleep unless he was being rocked and held. She told me to get the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It changed our lives. Magnus is 8 months old now, and has the exact same schedule that Axel had at his age, as the book recommends. A day for Magnus goes like this:

7:00 am; Wake Up

9:00 am: 1st nap

1:00 pm: 2nd nap

4:00 pm: 3rd nap

6:30 pm: Bedtime

Granted, he often misses his 3rd nap during the week because Axel loves to stay after school and play as long as he can. So we often walk home from school at just before 5:00. Magnus therefore goes to bed at around 5:15/5:30 on those days. But he will still sleep until 7:00 or so the next day. Amazing, right? Why don’t more people know about this book and sleep schedule? I have no idea, but I don’t think many do. So I preach it to anyone who seems interested. We totally believe that healthy sleep is just as important as a healthy diet for kids. 

Axel has also always gone to bed early. Granted, he is our early riser. He will wake up at around 6:30 am, at which time he is allowed to go down to the basement and watch tv. He is under no circumstance allowed to wake us up, or there will be severe consequences! But because he wakes up so early, his bedtime is 7:00. He fights us and fights us on this. But after fighting and insisting that he should go to bed later, 5 minutes later he is passed out cold. People often say that we should put our kids to bed later to make them sleep later. This does not work. You put Axel to bed at 12:00 midnight, he will still bounce up like the energizer bunny at 6:30. Magnus is the same. Whether he goes to bed at 5:00 or 7:00, he still wakes up at 7:00. It’s just their internal clock. It works for us as long as they are getting the sleep they need.

Magnus has changed a lot over these past 8 months. He didn’t take naps longer than 1/2 hour until he was around 5 months old. We tried everything we did with Axel, and followed the sleep book, but nothing worked. Then, we started a nap routine. We’d start to get quiet, we’d put him in his sleep sack, etc. We did the same thing every nap. We also put him down awake but with his eyes drooping tired. He would cry, we’d go in and console by patting him, then leave. We did this for about a week or two before it worked! He finally started going to sleep on his own, and napping for longer than 1/2 hour. But he was about 5 months old. Every baby is different!

For the last couple of months, he goes in and out of nursing strikes. Axel did this to me when he was 10 months old. We had enough frozen milk, so we were okay with weaning him. But Magnus is only 8 months, we don’t want to wean him yet. So for the days he didn’t want to nurse, we took away bottles and gave him milk in a cup. They say if you do this, babies will at some point go back to nursing because they have a strong need to suck. It totally worked! We still give him a bottle now and then, but if he prefers the bottle, we take it away temporarily. And he will absolutely not take formul. Which is okay, we’re not huge fans of the man made stuff.

He started crawling at 7-8 months, and is pulling himself up to stand! He talks by screeching, and he and Axel have entire screeching conversations. Axel is incredible with him. He adores his little brother. I never knew how much it would fill my heart to see love between brothers. When Magnus was first born, Axel would come home from school and want to hold him. Now that he’s older, Axel likes to get him from his crib when he wakes up from naps, and take him down to the basement to play. They take baths together, and Axel always gives him a kiss good night. Last night, he reminded me that he prayed for Moosie before he was born. He did! He had been praying for a little brother, and always reminded us to pray as well. And Magnus adores Axel. He watches everything he does with so much curiosity and awe. Magnus was a very chill infant, but now that he’s moving, he’s constantly on the move! I love this. I love energetic babies and kids. Probably because Johan and I rarely stop moving ourselves.

Here are his stats from his last several checkups:

4 weeks

5 kg - 11 lb

55 cm - 21.7 in

8 weeks

5.82 kg - 12.8 lb

62 cm - 24.4”

41.5 cm - 16.3 in

16 weeks

7.37 kg = 16.2 lb

69 cm long = 27.2 in

44 cm head = 17.3 in

6 months

8.8 kg, 19.4 lbs

45.5 cm head, 17.9 in

73 cm long = 28.7 inches

Moosie is a long, heavy baby! He’s a good eater. He eats everything. Another difference from when Axel was a baby is that the Dr. said to give him everything. No need to wait until certain months to give him new food. Give him everything Evel cows milk and honey. He ate peanut butter at 6 months! He prefers to feed himself. So we usually just leave all his food on his tray and let him go for it. The only food he’ll let us feed him is his oatmeal for breakfast. 

Recently, Magnus will not nurse in public. In fact, he won’t even nurse in a well lit room! I have to take him into the nursery, close the shades, make the room dark, and then he will nurse. I have no idea how he’s going to do on our plane rides to Washington DC and California coming up. 

Axel has started his Fall sports. He’s playing hockey, and club soccer. He’ll start club baseball training in January. We didn’t really plan for him to play club sports, but he tells us that he wants more competition, and to play against tougher kids. He gets bored if it’s too easy. But at least the sports only take up 2 days of our week. He also loves math and art at school. He will often Bring his paper and colors into  the dining room, spread them out on the table, and start drawing. I love it. 

Johan’s work schedule has settled down much more than last year, and it’s so nice to see him home more often and not as stressed. 

I am still following my hobby of baking custom cakes. My main customers are my neighbors. I love the challenge of trying something new, making it as good as possible, and trying to figure out how to make everything from scratch. This week, I have two cake orders. One is an orange chocolate cake, where I will make my own homemade candied oranges and chocolate shards. And the second is an American Nija Warrior cake for a little boy at Axel’s school. Making cakes totally feeds my creative outlet, but also my Engineer outlet. How can I make this cake perfectly straight, with sharp edges, and how can I make these decorations stay put without falling? You get the idea. I love it, it’s so fun. But it has made me realize that custom cakes are also really expensive!! Making a cake with quality ingredients and materials is not cheap! 

In any case, we are looking forward to the Fall. Of visiting California for Thanksgiving, and all of the fun things that come with the changing seasons. 

Frozen Chocolate Pie (Vegan, Paleo)

Several people asked for the recipe for this vegan paleo chocolate pie the other day that I figured I'd post it here. It's delicious. You can't tell that it's basically made of nuts and fruit because it is so decadent. In fact, it's so good you may still feel guilty eating it. I got the recipe from a cookbook I borrowed from my neighbor called Made with Love. A mother/daughter duo from Ontario. Apparently, their baked goods are their claim to fame, and I want to try all of them. Other than the time to soak the nuts and freeze the pie, this recipe took me about 10 minutes to make.

I did not let the almonds soak for as long as they recommend fo the crust (8 hours). I was too impatient, so I only soaked them for a half hour, along with the cashews and dates. Also, I didn't not have agave, so I used pure maple syrup. Everything still came out fabulous.

Frozen Chocolate Pie

Raw Nut Pie Crust:
2 cups raw almonds
2 cups pitted dates
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp sea salt

Filling:
1 frozen Raw Nut Pie Crust
3 1/2 cups raw cashews, soaked in filtered water for about 30 minutes, then drained
1 cup raw cocao powder
3/4 cup agave (or maple) syrup
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup coconut oil, melted

Topping:
2/3 cup raw cocao powder
2/3 cup coconut oil, melted
6 tablespoons agave (or maple) syrup
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1. Prepare in a 9-inch springform pan
2. Soak the almonds in filtered water for 1/2 hour. Even better, soak in the refrigerator for up to 8 hours. Drain. Rinse well then drain again.
3. Soak the dates for 30 minutes in warm filtered water to soften.
4. Transfer soaked almonds and dates to a food processory fitted with the metal blade. Add the vanilla and salt. Pulse until just combined.
5. Press the crust into the 9-inch springform pan and freeze until ready to use.
6. To make the filling, combine the soaked cashews, cacao powder, agave syrup, vanilla extract, and 3/4 cup filtered water in a blender or food processor. Blend until smooth. Add the coconut oil and blend again.
7. Pour the chocolate filling into the frozen pie crust. Freeze until the filling is firm.
8. To make the chocolate topping, mix together the cacao powder, coconut oil, agave syrup, and vanilla extract.
9. Pour the chocolate topping over the frozen chocolate pie filling. Return the pie to the freezer until frozen.

Queque

When Axel was a toddler, he spoke a lot of Spanish words since he was home with me and we only speak Spanish together. One of his favorite things was cake, which he learned to say in Spanish: "Queque", which is actually Spanglish. Whenever my Mom would visit, he'd beg her to make him a queque, which is the first thing she'd do, and add frosting and sprinkles, of course.

Queque!

Diversion in subject: Baby Moose is now 8 weeks old. At his checkup, he weighed in at a good and solid 12.8 lbs, was 24.4 inches long (95th percentile), and his head measured off the charts at 24.6 inches (99th percentile). That didn't make sense to me. So the circumference of his head is greater than his length? In any case, Axel's head also always measured off the charts. So it's now our claim to fame that we birth babies with ginorma-domes. We are all so in love with his cuteness, and Axel is still one of his biggest fans.

Brothers

So since I have a newborn, it's an obvious time for me to start a side business of baking cakes. I mean, I have so much spare time, it makes total sense (sarcasm). I don't know why this passion started. I'm not actually starting a business. A neighbor asked me the other day if this was my plan, it's not. I simply call it my new hobby. It really just kind of happened and I've just followed it along. I think my first sense that I loved making cakes (like, real cakes, not the normal everyday pound cake) was when I made Axel's 2nd birthday cake. Until then, I had only made a yellow pound cake from a Swedish recipe called sockerkaka (sugar cake). The cake that I baked for Axel's birthday was a buttermilk cake with swiss meringue buttercream frosting. I made it into a train cake, with the second layer being a cave the train was coming out of. I'm so sad I have no photos! But it was much more involved than I was used to, it took me the entire day, and made me feel like I had accomplished something afterwards because it took quite a bit of skill and ability to follow directions and use my creativity. My love for baking is also due to the fact that I have some girlfriends in San Diego who are incredible bakers whom I've been watching and listening to for years as they make incredible creations. We joke about opening a bakery someday. At least I think it's a joke.

So since we moved to Toronto, I got this idea to start baking cakes for my neighbors whenever anyone has a birthday. It's an excuse for me to get my cake baking fix, practice, and also love on my neighbors. Although, sometimes I have to force them to take it because, for some reason, they don't want to  eat a bunch of butter and sugar on their birthday. Weirdos! In the beginning, my decorating skills were extremely lacking. I am no expert now, but at that time I didn't have a good handle on frosting textures or decorating techniques. So I started reading blogs, watching YouTube videos, and asking my girlfriends for tips and tricks. As I slowly pushed my cakes on people, I actually started getting orders from neighbors and friends, and even got to make my first official fancy cake for a neighbors' in-laws' 50th wedding anniversary! Since then I've been getting more creative and my cakes are looking less and less like they were made by a preschooler. Plus, I think my cakes are delicious. I've never been a fan of the store bought cakes, I'm a bit of a snob in this area. But after baking my own cakes for so long, I wouldn't be caught dead buying onefrom a store because I think homemade cakes taste so much better.

Minecraft cake for Axel's birthday. April 2017.

Caramel, caramelized pear, and toffee cake with whipped cream frosting. August 2017.

50th Wedding Anniversary Cake. Buttermilk cake with Vanilla Swiss Meringue Buttercream Frosting. January 2018.

Valentines Day! Buttermilk Cake with Chocolate Cloud Frosting.

Easter Cupcakes for the kids. April 2018.

Easter Celebration Cake. Lemon Blueberry with Cream Cheese Frosting. April 2018.

Neighbor Requested Birthday Cake. Lemon Raspberry Almond with Cream Cheese Frosting and White Chocolate Ganache. April 2018.

Neighbor Requested Pokemon Cake. Vanilla Buttermilk Cake with Chocolate Cloud Frosting and Fondant Outer. April 2018.

I don't have photos of all of my prior cakes, but as you can see, they didn't start out so pretty. But that doesn't mean they're perfect now either. When I decided to make the lemon raspberry almond cake for my neighbors' mother in laws' birthday, I did a trial version that completely misfired. I was so glad I had done a trial version and learned from my mistakes! Apparently, you can't pour ganache on top of frosting while the ganache and the frosting are still warm. This is why I have historically been a terrible baker. I am quite impatient, and I don't like following instructions. However, when I decide that I want my cakes to look perfect, I suck it up and follow those instructions.

Poor, sad, cake with floppy Ganache :(

Making cakes has reminded me a bit of who I am and has brought out realizations of my shortcomings. It has highlighted the fact that I mentioned before, that I am quite impatient. I don't like instructions or word problems, as I typically skip the entire paragraph and head straight to the end and say to myself "I've got this!", overconfidently. It reminded me of years ago when I was studying for my Engineering licensing exam, that I took the 8 hour exam three times and failed because I was taking the hardest exam each time. I never read the list completely of which 8 hour exams I could choose from because I was too impatient to read the list all the way to the end and choose "general", the easiest one. Finally, a co-worker mentioned this to me, I slapped myself on the forehead, and, needless to say, the fourth time was a charm! I see this in Axel as well. I notice that he's not very good at math word problems even though he is great at math. Impatience is genetic, apparently!

So, in summary, this new love for baking and creating cakes has been such a welcomed outlet for me to dive into something I'm passionate about and a hobby I love. I love using my left and right brain, I love the challenge, and I love giving them to people to make them happy. So if anyone needs a cake, and you're willing to bet on my novice abilities, you know who to call!

6 Weeks and 6 Years

It's been six weeks since Magnus was born, and I'm going through my head for all of the things I'm grateful for, because I am very thankful. I am so thankful for my mom for flying out and staying with us for two weeks to help. She's amazing. She cleaned our house from top to bottom, cooked dinner every night, made us her amazing salsa fresca with avocado and chips as an appetizer almost every night, made desserts, washed all of our dirty basement sofa covers and pillow covers, sewed up all of the holes in our quilts, etc, etc. Not to mention she took Magnus each night. She'd wake me up to nurse, and when I was done, I'd give him to her and go back to bed. We were so well rested! If she hadn't had four kids of her own, she would have made an amazing night nurse.

We went to the doctor last week for his 4 week checkup. He weighed 11 pounds and was 22.5 inches long. Pretty much all of his stats are around the 85th percentile. Except for his head, which is around the 95th. Quite similar to brother Axel!

Nowadays, I am so thankful that Johan is on paternity leave. He's been home with me now for four weeks and gets five weeks paid from his work. He is also amazing because he's made it his mission to live up to my mom's amazingness, and he enjoys it. He also takes a night shift with Magnus in that he gives him a bottle and puts him to bed to let me sleep. Then he wakes up at around 6:30 with Axel and makes breakfast, packs his school lunch, makes coffee, and lets me sleep in until around 7:45. Then after sending Axel off to school, he starts cleaning. He runs the Roomba, washes the floors, cleans the kitchen, bathrooms, and does a load of laundry pretty much every day. He's pretty much super human and defies most male stereotypes. If my Mom came to live with us, between the two of them, I'd never have to do anything for myself ever again.

Magnus is doing great. He is the sweetest thing ever. He is very chill and easy. Pretty much from day one we put him on a day/night schedule. During the day, we wake him up after 2 hours of sleep to nurse and to help him establish a daytime routine. He has started becoming more awake during the days, but just long enough to change a diaper, nurse, and look around for a bit. Then he’s out again. I remember at this age, Axel started waking up, but it was harder to put him to sleep. We’d have to move, walk, or bounce him to get to sleep, and he slept best when he was held. Magnus is pretty similar during the day. But at night, he usually falls asleep pretty quickly after nursing, then will sleep in his bassinet for up to 3 hours at a time. During the night (after 8:00 pm or so), we put him to bed and don't dare wake him up. He only nurses if he wakes up.

It's worked out pretty well. So well, in fact, that Johan and I have felt so well rested that we decided to start getting out and exploring the city during the days with Magnus to take full advantage of our maternity/paternity leaves. We've started becoming Toronto foodies. At lunch, we venture off to a different part of the city to try out a new restaurant and type of food. I've been even more inspired to do this because we started watching a Netflix documentary called Ugly Delicious. It stars a Toronto chef named Dave Chang. He's the head chef of Momofuku, a very popular innovative Asian restaurant that is in several of the world's largest cities.

So far, we've been to Momofuku's Noodle Bar, Mean Bao, Campo, The Drake Commisary, Dong Gia (Viet/Thai food), and Honest Weight. All of the food, so far, has been amazing. But we also live in Toronto, where there are immigrants from all over the world. So ethnic foods here are plentiful and have a lot of good competition to be amazing.

Back to maternity leave. There is quite a luxury in being able to choose to stay in your pajamas until 3:00 p.m. without fear of judgement. It is so nice to wake up and not have to put on work clothes and do my hair and makeup. However, at some point I force myself to take a shower and get myself together or else I just feel like an oaf that smells like sour milk. The best parts of these days are sitting with Magnus, watching him look around with curiosity, or fall asleep. Newborns falling asleep must be the funniest, most precious sight ever. They go from rolling their eyes backwards, to laughing, to pouting out their lips, and maybe sucking on a pretend nipple. It will never get old.

Axel is still in love with his little brother. He kisses him every chance he gets, and wants him in the bed with him at night when we read books and falls asleep. He will do everything to help with the baby by bringing a blanket, his pacifier, etc. He has even started sleeping in Magnus' room. Although, after they're both asleep, I then sneak Magnus into our room because it's easier to nurse him in the middle of the night if he's in the bassinet next to me. That way, I can lay in bed half asleep with my body under the covers while one hand keeps the pacifier from falling out of his mouth and my outer toe rocks the cradle. We've all been playing musical beds lately, I don't even know who sleeps where anymore. Some nights Axel is in Magnus' room, Magnus is in our room, I'm in our room, or sometimes Axel is asleep at the foot of our bed and has kicked Johan out, so Johan sleeps in Axel's room. And I don't even know where Leia sleeps anymore. She's been completely forgotten.

Since Magnus has been so portable, he’s already become a regular at the hockey rink at Axel’s games, has been to a plethora of restaurants around town (as previously mentioned), he loves picking Axel up from school, and has even been seen back at church. Granted, he’s pretty much slept through everything, so he won't recall anything if you ask him. The most uncomfortable part of getting out with a newborn (for me) has to be nursing. I have to constantly think about my clothes and if they’re conducive to nursing in public, or plan when and where I’ll nurse, especially because it's pretty much still winter in Toronto, so both Magnus and I are wearing winter clothing. Usually, we time Magnus’ nursing with getting out of the house. In general, I feel like my body is getting slowly back to normal. I started back at the gym last week, which felt great. It is still hard to find clothes that fit this weird body shape during this in between time, but I’m learning to give myself some slack and not be too critical. It would be easier, though, if I didn’t have the appetite of a herd of teenage boys. I can eat like it’s nobody’s business. Hopefully baby Moose and I continue this symbiotic relationship in that he keeps nursing enough for me to burn enough calories to allow me to eat my way through a week's worth of Costco groceries and not think twice. 

Axel is in the throws of the age of 6. He has somehow learned snarky sarcasm that I wouldn't have even dared as a teenager. Where are they learning it from? It can't be from us parents, can it?! It must be from school, right? He is also an absolute master negotiator. We recently started a complaining chart with him. If he doesn't complain about what he eats, about going to bed, or going to school, he gets a happy face for that day. After seven days of happy faces, he'll get a reward. Probably a Pokemon card. The other day, he told us he had almost reached seven days. I asked him how he had counted that, since he had complained the day prior. He said "Well, you never said the days had to be in a row". Crap, kid, you're right. I quickly tried to add "days in sequence" as a requirement for receiving his reward, but he told me that wasn't part of the conditions from the beginning, and it's my fault for not making that clear and unfair if I add it in now. If you tell him he has to turn the tv off in 5 minutes, he will always negotiate 5 extra minutes. Or if you say he can't have any more dessert, he'll convince you that he skipped a snack in the afternoon to be able to save up for that extra serving of dessert. If you tell him a straight out "no" (which we do quite often), you must be prepared for all hell to break loose, which is his tactic to break you down and make you cave. He has the skills to wear down even the most stubborn (such as myself), until you have no willpower left. We have to remind each other to stay strong, don't loose your cool, don't give in to his master manipulation, and for everything that is sacred and holy, don't be beguiled by the 6 year old, for crying out loud! In the end, we typically result to negotiating. Negotiating = peace and life skills. We tell ourselves that we are allowing him to hone his skills to one day be a world leader, yet somehow without letting him lead our household. Hopefully our little world leader will learn to do so while being humble, loving, and following Jesus....we hope. All we know is that this kid is amazing, determined, and extremely talented, and needs us to lead him into the great things God has planned for him. So we follow the mantra of our former pastor Aaron Henderson, who used to say "my job as a parent is to minimize the time my kids will spend in therapy as adults". Which basically means no parent is perfect and can do a perfect job. We're all doing our best! 

Birth Story, and Magnus Leon

Last Thursday, February 1st, I was 38 weeks and 3 days pregnant. So I went to my boot camp class as usual to work out. I was doing squats, planks, bar lifts, you know, the usual for a full term pregnant woman. Later that night, at around 10:00 p.m., Johan and I were watching The People vs. O.J. Simpson, when my water broke. We were a bit unprepared, but knew we had a couple of hours to get to the hospital. I had tested positive for Group B Strep (GBS), which is a type of bacteria that can affect the baby during delivery, so I had instructions to arrive at the hospital within 4 hours to receive antibiotics. We packed bags for ourselves, the baby, and for Axel. Thankfully, our neighbor was home and was kind enough to sleep in our guest room so we didn't have to wake up Axel. And our other neighbors (Axel's bff's parents) were sweet enough to take Axel after school and through the weekend.

We arrived at the hospital at around 1:00 a.m., which was great because there was no one there but us and the nurses. They got us checked in, and instructed me to walk around to see if the contractions would start. Funny fact: My water also broke with Axel at 38-1/2 weeks. I never went into labor and had a C-Section. I had a feeling history was going to repeat itself. But we walked around the hospital and tried to get things going. But after a couple of hours, nothing had happened. The doctor on duty wanted to start inducing with Pitocin because of my GBS, to not waste too much time. Later on, I got an epidural, and we waited. I actually got to 8 cm but the baby's heartrate started to drop with each stronger contraction. So we pulled out for the C-section. I FOUGHT having a C-section with Axel. So much so, that my girlfriend, Natalie (who is a doctor) and who was there with Johan and me during the birth, had to convince me for my doctor that I needed to go under the knife. I finally ended up listening after 36 hours of stubbornly trying to go into labor. For this baby, I was like "do it, Doc". I didn't care by then. I just wanted what was best for the baby. He was born at around 3:30 a.m. on Saturday, February 3rd. He weighed 7 lbs 11 oz, and was 21.4 inches long.

When the baby was born, we sat with him for a while. We had had several names on our list for him, but hadn't decided on one in particular. We thought we'd name him when we saw him. The names on our list were Ivan Samuel, Magnus Leon, and Samuel Joseph. When we saw him, we thought he seemed like Ivan Samuel. He was the sweetest thing. So mild and easy. Slept and ate so soundly. But after the first day, we started to feel that perhaps Ivan wasn't right. When I tried to think of his name (Ivan), I couldn't remember it. Not a good sign. So we decided to sit on it for a couple of days.

After my C-section, the nurses said to wait 12 hours, then try to walk around slowly. The totally amazing part of my birth story, I believe, is that I was able to walk out of the hospital and go home the day after my C-section. I still took it easy, and had some pain, but I felt great, much better than I had with Axel, whose C-section took me about a week to recuperate from, and we had to stay three days in the hospital to recover. I think it's because I had kept in such good shape during my pregnancy. Thanks, Purenergy (my gym)!

It was so nice to come home and see Axel, and be together. Of course, life as usual resumed, and normal challenges began right away. But the best thing ever was seeing how much Axel loved holding his brother. Every day after school, he'd walk in the door and ask to hold baby Moose. He'd just sit there in the rocker and stare at him. He's a great big brother.

By about the Fourth day, we both talked about the baby name, and decided that Ivan didn't suit him. Johan actually really liked the name Ezra, which was my favorite boy name ever. However, it became apparent to me how important it was that this baby also have a Swedish name like Axel did. As much as I loved the name Ezra, I wanted the brothers to share in their Swedish heritage by both having a Swedish name. So we finally decided his name is Magnus Leon. Aka Moose. Our Swedish American Peruvian Canadian.

My mom arrived on Monday night, grabbed the baby, and immediately sat in the rocking chair with him and snuggled. She pretty much hasn't let us hold him since, she's a total baby snatcher. She loves sitting with him, and he loves sleeping on us and snuggling. He is such a joy. Pretty much everything he does reminds us of Axel. He eats like a total animal (he was back at his birth weight after just 3 days), and his favorite pasttimes are sleeping and pooping. Oh, and he loves to pee all over you and everything in the vicinity every single time you take his diaper off. So beware.

So now I'm on maternity leave for 12-18 months! And Johan gets about 5 weeks. Thanks, Canada! I am also so thankful that I get to do this parenting thing alongside Johan. He is such an amazing, helpful Dad, who is a wee bit more protective and careful than I am, but that's why the yin needs the yang. We are so very thankful for this amazing blessing of a baby, how he's changed our lives for the better, and this time that we all get to spend together, adjusting to being a family of 4.

Life in 2018

It was three years ago this month, as we were living comfortably in San Diego, that Johan told me he was interviewing for a job in Toronto and leaving for the interview in a couple of days. I said "Say what?" and asked him why he hadn't mentioned this interview to me before. He reminded me that just weeks prior, I had told him to quit telling me about all the recruiters/headhunters who would call him from various cities asking him if he'd be interested in a new position. I wasn't interested in moving, so I told him I didn't want to hear about a position in, say, Boston, unless he was absolutely serious about it. He was serious about Toronto. I told him there was probably no way I'd be interested in moving there (where was it, anyways?), but good luck with the interview. One week later, our entire family was on a plane flying to Toronto to check out the city before making a final decision to move. I had a good feeling after the trip, but I still didn't want to move. We had just bought and remodeled our house in San Diego, lived on an amazing street with tons of kids and great neighbors, we had an amazing tight knit church family....why should we leave? We prayed a lot about it. I prayed a lot about it. And when I still had no peace about a decision, I remember what my wise girlfriend, Ella, told me: Maybe I should just submit to my husband's decision. So I did. I told Johan that if this was what he really wanted to do, then I was on board. And you know what? As soon as that happened, my heart totally changed. I WAS on board. I got excited and willing and had no ill feelings about it. We both became unified in knowing this was simply a new phase in our lives that God wanted to take us through. And it's been amazing, and challenging, and we will never be the same because of it.

Fast forward three years to now, and we are about 4 weeks away from meeting Axel's little brother! We have amazing neighbors and are so happy with Axel's school. Axel is in love with pretty much all sports, and is at some time or another involved in hockey, skiing/snowboarding, soccer, baseball, track and field, tennis, basketball, and even golf. I put him in select hockey this year because I was pregnant and knew I wouldn't be able to take him skiing every week like we've done the past two winters. He loves hockey, however, skiing and snowboarding are his favorites. I did sign him up for a performance ski group just 40 minutes from our house on Saturdays, which he loves. After his first day, the ski instructor came up to me with huge eyes and said "that kid belongs in ski racing, he's amazing." I pointed to my belly and said I would love him to be in racing, but with a baby coming, that wasn't going to happen. In any case, my real selfish goal with putting him in an advanced ski group is that soon he'll be as good as or better than both Johan and me, so we can all go skiing together. We already have done that in past seasons, but Axel was always just a little bit slower than us. 

So we are now into the six year old phase. I will say that it has gotten steadily easier since he turned three, which was the worst. One amazing thing that happened this year was that Axel became excited about reading and writing, and has become so much better at each. We couldn't even bribe him to do either until he started 1st grade this year. Now he has read all of the latest Dog Man books, and loves trying to re-write them word for word, and draw the photos as well. He also loves art (which I'm happy about :). He loves drawing and painting, and sometimes we do projects together. This year we made our own gingerbread house from scratch. 

However, now at 6 years old, there are real conversations, but also real life problems that we talk about, like bullying, the angst and anger that comes from the complexity of relationships that 6 year olds don't totally understand, or kids cursing and calling eachother names. This happens on a regular basis on the playground as competitive boys navigate regulating their own soccer games, rules, teams, etc. Axel pretty much knows all the basic curse words by now from school, and has been called plenty of them, and has used a couple of them himself (as I've been told by his teacher). The first time his teacher told me he'd used the F word at a kid at school, I was so mad I told him we were going home to wash his mouth out with soap then he was going to bed. When I got home, we told Johan about it, and he was so relaxed and nonchalant about it, I started becoming the mean crazy wife. How could he not care?? How was this not a big deal that our six year old was cursing like a sailor at school?? I had to calm myself down first, and we all decided that Axel would have to skip his evening tv time instead of washing his mouth out. "BUT IF YOU EVER SAY THAT WORD AGAIN, it's soap time..." I warned him. It might also help to mention that this happened right after we watched A Christmas Story about Ralphie, who says the F word in front of his dad and gets his mouth washed out with soap, then imagines he goes blind to punish his parents. So Axel did threaten to go blind if I did go through with the mouth washing. But it hasn't happened again, so maybe my threats worked.

But, in general, I feel like, at least Axel, at six years old, is so full of attitude and independent strong will. Go ahead and laugh, because when has he NOT been strong willed and independent. But this is different because he's getting older and actually having to make his own decisions. When the weather is warmer he usually walks to school. But he's not allowed to arrive until a teacher is on yard duty, so we have a set time when he can leave the house. however, one day he decided he wanted to go to school a half hour early because he wanted to be the first one there to play soccer, as the kids normally play before school. I told him it was against the rules because there would be no one there on yard duty, but he fought and fought me. I finally said "Okay, but you're going to get in trouble". I was still in my pajamas so I got dressed and drove to school several minutes later to check on him. Lo and behold, the principal saw him outside the school before hours and made him come in and sit in her office until the yard duty teacher went outside. The teachers all told me what Axel had done and I was so embarrased. But my only response was "this was probably the only way he was going to listen and learn". And it did work, he never did it again. Just today I tried to convince him to put on gloves before going to school because it's -3 C outside and just snowed 6 inches last night. How was he going to play in the snow without gloves? He refused, so I let it be. But I had to tell him that if his fingers get cold, I was not going to drive his gloves to school for him. The same thing goes for wearing socks, or a beanie, or even underwear for crying out loud! We've just had to let certain things go. HOWEVER, he has learned his lesson in refusing to shower. He's gotten a couple of staph infections because of not showering after hockey. Trying to get the kid to bathe or shower when he's not in the mood is like trying to throw a cat in a pool. He'll death grip the nearest doorway or permanent object until you give up because no one is stronger than Axel when he's being forced to do something he doesn't want to do (well, I'm a close second). But after the painful staph infections, we have a little more leverage to get him to shower after hockey. Not every day, but at least after hockey. We can live with that. 

Johan has been working super hard this past year. He was put in charge of an Investigational New Drug (IND) application, which includes submitting a cancer drug that his company created to the US FDA to be approved for clinical trials. It's probably added a couple of years onto his life, and he has started to walk crooked and may start to get a twitch in his eye, but they submitted the application before Christmas! So thank goodness, he doesn't have to work through vacations, weekends, evenings, etc anymore. Now we've got him scheduled on a healthy dose of medical pilates, massage, epsom salt baths, chiropractor, and working from home a couple days a week. And it would be amazing to see this application approved. We need more cancer treatments!

 I am still working full time as a water resources engineer, but have started working a couple days a week from home to be more comfortable. I have been feeling fabulous this pregnancy. I am honestly not trying to brag, but when you feel so good, you want to tell people about it! It simply has everything to do with the fact that I've been working out a lot (and pretty hard) this pregnancy. I remember friends often telling me that after the first pregnancy, it gets harder because you get older. I'm 38, but I feel better than I did when I was pregnant with Axel at 32. I have realized that being in shape before getting pregnant, and continuing to stay in good shape, is so important to a healthy and relatively easier pregnancy. I'm 36 weeks and can still do 1 minute planks, pushups, sleigh pulls, one-legged squats, etc. I'm especially thankful because last year I hurt my back really bad doing yoga, but I have felt zero back pain this pregancy. It does help that I have an awesome TRX trainer who takes good care of me at my gym, as well as a great masseuse and chiropractor who does active release therapy, which is, thankfully, all covered by our insurance. I did go to see my OB last week and he said it looked like the baby was measuring 3 weeks ahead of schedule. So I'm going in for an ultrasound this week to check. These types of measurements are never totally accurate, but it reminds me that Axel had constantly measured about 1-2 weeks large, and he came 1-1/2 weeks early at 7 lbs 10 oz, so we'll see what happens!

After we moved to Toronto, I started this tradition of baking cakes for my neighbors whenever anyone had a birthday. It's sort of become my hobby, and a way to bless the people around me. It's slowly become more of a passion. For Christmas, Johan bought me a beautiful cake stand and some high quality cake decorating tools. At the same time, I was asked by a neighbor to bake a cake for her in-laws' 50th wedding anniversary. This was my first multi-tiered cake of different sizes, so a bit of a challenge. But it turned out really well! After this cake, I decided maybe it was something I could do while on maternity leave for fun. I wouldn't do it for the money since I don't charge much, but I love baking and love the process of decorating the cake. However, I've checked out local stores and have seen cakes similar to mine on sale for around $300!! They're crazy expensive. Plus, I can't stand store bought cakes. They always have way too much sugar and lack any complex taste. So if any Torontonians ever need a cake, you know who to ask!

Lastly, I have to mention this amazing piece of technology, which I think has changed my/our well-being forever. We got a Roomba. I am one of those people who, if they see dirt and dog hair all over the floor, gets super anxious and I am not at peace. Our house has four levels and there's no way I'm vacuuming that every day. This Roomba goes to work every day and has kept our house in tip top shape. I will admit, I judged them from the beginning. I thought "people who have a Roomba must simply be too lazy to vacuum". Well judge me if you want, I am in zen mode whenever I'm at home sitting on my couch watching the Roomba work, because my socks are no longer covered in tortilla chips and dog hair! Plus, with a baby coming, there's no way I'm vacuuming as often as I'd like. And Axel thinks it's the coolest thing ever. We even named it Roomba Fransson.

Oh, and our baby room is pretty much done! I'm going to add a couple more things to the walls, like some art I just made, and perhaps some little shelves for books next to the glider. But we are as ready as we can be!